Why am I Doing This?
— by Cory M. Carlson
The Day I Realized My Vocational Purpose
A few years ago, I was involved in the rare experience of trying to sell a company from one ownership group to another. We were owned by a small, boutique private equity company and had grown to a size where it made sense to sell to a larger private equity company to help fund and support our future growth. I was president of sales for the company—one of four executives responsible for presenting the company to the potential buyers. My role was to help explain how we grew over the last few years and cast vision for our future growth opportunities and plan.
During a six-week span we presented to eleven different private equity companies, and the schedule was the same for each. The night the potential buyer arrived, we went out to a fancy dinner and drinks. The next day we presented to them from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. The process was intense but exciting.
Not only was it incredible to see how the private equity world works, providing significant growth in my business acumen, it was also a defining moment in my purpose. At one of these dinners the table conversation opened my eyes to what I had been wrestling with a lot. What was my purpose? What was I fighting for? Where was I headed? Why was I doing it? What was all this for? Did I want to stay in this career path? If we sold, would I go to another corporate role? Would I pack it all up and take the risk of starting over and pursue coaching since that is where my heart was and still is?
The table conversation became dominated by the topic of money. The guy who sat across from me was sharing with the table about his brand new $200,000 car. How fast it was, how it handled turns, and the sound of the engine. He even showed a YouTube video of the car, so we could see it and hear the purr of the engine.
I am not saying wealthy people are bad. I know amazing business people who are very wealthy, who also have been great mentors and friends of mine. The eye-opening part for me this particular night was to see the mindset of these individuals. When the topic went to family or home life, the conversation was shallow. I saw more passion for the sound of their car engine than for their kids or spouses.
That night I realized what I did no longer mattered. Instead, why I did my job was going to be my driver. Whether I worked at this company or another, my why was going to be about impacting others.
WHAT IS YOUR “WHY”?
About ten years ago Simon Sinek gave a talk that went viral. The video has over ten million views on YouTube and has been a common topic in the business world for the last decade. Simon talked about the difference between average and great companies. Average companies are about the how and the what of their operations, while great companies are about the why first, then the how, then the what.
Simon gave the example of Apple and how they start with why. Apple’s why is “to challenge the status quo.” Apple’s how is to do this by making user-friendly products. Their what is they make computers, iPods, and many other products many of us use every day. Simon’s overall idea is that people do not buy what you are selling, they buy the why behind it.
The why is the company’s cause, belief, and/or purpose. Si- mon’s talk was geared toward companies, but it applies to us as individuals as well.
When people tie their identity and life vision to what they do, they are setting themselves up for failure. When our identity is tied to the what of our work, it becomes the place we take our questions—our questions of value and worth. If we are doing great at work, we think we are amazing. If we perform poorly at work, we evaluate our own identity accordingly.
When work defines who we are, we can find ourselves putting work before family, our own health, and our personal well-being. We say no to family so we can work longer hours. We don’t exercise so we can crank out a few more emails.
MY WHY
Shortly after that dinner, my why began to change. Instead of looking at my life through the lens of titles and what I did, I wanted my why to be helping leaders win at home and work. At the time I did not know I would eventually coach executives or even write a book, but my thought was to begin to impact those who reported to me. My why of helping people to win at home and work caused me to invest in my direct reports differently, equipping them with tools to succeed in both places.
Once I determined my why, it didn’t matter what I did or where I worked. Yes, I still had a responsibility to execute well and grow the business, but my identity and purpose was no longer defined by the company purpose.
YOUR WHY
What is your why for your job? I like how, in his book Every Good Endeavor: Connecting Your Work to God’s Plan for the World, Timothy Keller states: “A job is a vocation only if someone else calls you to do it for them rather than for yourself. And so, our work can be a calling only if it is reimagined as a mission of service to something beyond merely our own interests. Thinking of work mainly as a means of self-fulfillment and self-realization slowly crushes a person.”
How can you reimagine your work so it is a mission of service to something beyond yourself, beyond just making money, beyond finding your identity in it? I have friends who are not passionate about the products their company makes (such as toilet paper), yet they have found their why to be about leading and developing the team they work with. On the other hand, I know people who are passionate about not only their team but also the good their service brings to other people, which in some cases literally can change their customers’ lives (such as medical services).
RECALIBRATION QUESTIONS
1. What drives you at work? Your what or your why?
2. What is your why?
3. What decisions have you recently made that were driven by your identity being tied to work?
4. What decisions do you need to make differently so that you are making them based on your why being about something bigger than money or title?
Maybe you’re wondering how to embrace your life’s purpose. Talk about it in one of our entrepreneur groups in Dallas or across the world. We’re creating space for you to explore your God-given mission.
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