Hurt is Going to Happen: Acknowledging Our Ability to Create and Destroy

— by Justin Forman

Dallas Jenkins might be more admired in my home than Walt Disney.

Sure Walt has the whole Mickey and theme park thing going for him. But Dallas’s work on “The Chosen” has captured our family.

In one of the recent behind the scenes segments, they interviewed a test group of people who screened the series.

It gripped me as I listened to how each of the stories was filled with scars from the Church.

There was the painful rejection of a friend. The neglect of a professing parent. And the abuse or failure of a spiritual mentor or pastor. Heartbreaking account after heartbreaking account told how the hands and feet of Jesus went from ally to obstacle. 

These past 10 years, we have seen terrible failures of leadership in the Church. We’ve read countless articles and listened to in-depth podcast series about these crushing collapses. With a heavy dose of mixed emotions, we’ve seen these become some of the most popular catalysts of conversation. 

I’ve heard a friend describe them as “failure porn.” Just like one might imagine, it has been hard to look the other way. 

Recently, I’ve been pleading with God…”please don’t let all this work be in vain.” Please spare this movement of Faith Driven Entrepreneurs and Investors from being that same place of pain. 

I don’t want there to be people years from now talking about how their faith was rocked by some Faith Driven Entrepreneur who’s pride, false humility, or greed caused such deep hurt that they ran farther from and not closer to Jesus. 

Recently I was with a friend on a video shoot sharing about that fear. It took a few thousand airline miles to be reminded of the hard and inescapable truth: “Hurt is going to happen.”

With those five words, I was reminded once again of why we so separately need Jesus. We’re all going to fail. And sometimes, it’ll be big. And every time it will hurt.

Like the tendencies of an overprotective parent, I was hoping for a world that doesn’t exist. I realized my hopes are no different than those of Church leaders who have gone before us. It can be easy to head back to the bunker and try to avoid risk. But God has called us to risky places as entrepreneurs. 

So if leaders truly are lifelong learners, what can we better understand from all of this?

Leading With a Limp

Name an author, teacher, or hero of your faith you’ve looked up to who has fallen… I don’t need to mention the name of any recent pastor or spiritual leader. I’m sure one comes to mind. Think about the pain, uncertainty, and damage their failure caused. Think of the fallout and collateral damage. 

It’s painful. And disgusting. Because sin is painful and disgusting.

Why do we think King David, the Apostle Paul, or any of Jesus’ disciples were any different than the recent examples popping up on social media and headline news? 

Paul drummed up false charges on people leading to life sentences and death. One of Jesus' closest friends and a faithful follower sold him out for an illicit gain. David destroyed a marriage and committed murder to pursue a sex scandal of biblical proportions. 

By God’s divine grace, there’s reconciliation even for those who fell hardest. But we have to stop drawing such unrealistic boxes for the people we follow and admire to fit in. Faith Driven Entrepreneurs and Investors included. 

We don’t get a free pass here. 

As Faith Driven Entrepreneurs and Investors, we can be the very instrument that allows, enables, and creates a false frame that leads to hurt and despair. Or we can be complicit in helping others build it. 

We are more than capable of destroying lives—ours as well. And we need to take a long hard look in the mirror before we go casting blame on others for their devastating choices and decisions. 

Yes, it’s difficult, if not dangerous, to lead when we have just as many opportunities to pile up brokenness as we do to revel in impressive achievements. But we must lead with a limp—a realistic frame where we recognize we will let others down. 

We will cause hurt. 

Admitting we’re capable of it and turning towards God when it happens are the only hope we have to surrender everything to the limitless forgiveness of Jesus. 

Free People Can Help Free People

We have a tendencty to focus only on the financial ruin, scandals of greed, or sexual brokenness. But if we swim upstream, we find the heart struggles that live in the shadows. 

That’s because the root cause of these failures started small and undetected. How often do we hear our heroes admit that they never started with plans of debauchery and deceit? 

Faith Driven Entrepreneurs and Investors are called to dangerous places. Oftentimes innovation, creativity, and the building process of a new venture has us surrounded by all the world’s trappings. 

It’s hard to admit, but you will hurt people. I will hurt people. Hurt people hurt people.

That truth, I think, is unavoidable. But once we humble ourselves and accept that certainty, I also believe that most of us would move to mitigate that risk. 

There’s no easy way to do it. And I don’t want to claim for one minute that I have the answer to it all. It’s the world we live in. Hurt is a byproduct of broken relationship with God and with one another.

But I also know that scripture calls us to be people of reconciliation. To do the hard work of pulling ourselves closer together rather than pushing ourselves further apart. For the Faith Driven Entrepreneur and Investor in particular, this can only happen when we put to death our desire to be a lone wolf.

Let others in. It’s not easy, but it just might be that simple.

By being vulnerable to share in our hurt and how we are wrestling with it will help us get ahead of these things. And as we push together through the difficult feelings and conversations, we find the freedom that Jesus has promised each one of us.

Each of us have our own unique perspectives and experiences that come with these ventures. But it also requires great vulnerability to reach out and ask for people to speak into you and your leadership.

I’m always hopeful when I see Faith Driven Entrepreneurs and Investors surrounding themselves with bands of brothers and sisters. The very people who will remind them of their strengths while gently and respectfully challenging their flaws. 

Seeing faithful followers of Jesus acknowledging the ability we have to both create and destroy (sometimes only a few words and sentences apart) gives me a renewed hope in how God is at work in the midst of our brokenness. And I am reminded that free people can help free people.

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