The sands of time on which we stand continue to shift all around us. Poised leaders who are used to being in control are constantly putting out fires. Faithful and qualified employees find themselves hunting for new jobs on LinkedIn. And the relationships between entrepreneurs and investors are as uncertain as ever.

Thankfully, leaders stepped up to lead the charge on how Christian business leaders and investors should respond to the power and leverage they have (or don’t have) during these pressing times. Below, you’ll find an email that Luke Roush & Jake Thomsen sent to Sovereign’s Capital portfolio companies. We believe their words of wisdom can encourage you as well…

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by Luke Roush & Jake Thomsen

One of the questions we’ve fielded in recent days is what is an appropriate vs. inappropriate use of leverage is during a time of crisis. The specific context where this conversation is that a well known private equity firm recently announced:

“We just called all the landlords of our portfolio companies and said ‘We’ll give you 50% of your rent for the next 90 days, take it or leave it. This is not to be repaid later…it just is what it is.’ – At this point, 100% of our landlords have taken these terms.”

This and other recent examples sparked an internal conversation about what is appropriate and inappropriate during these extraordinary times. As we prayed through this topic and sought counsel from our chaplain, Toby Kurth, here are two concepts we think are appropriate to reference:

1) Crisis Reveals Character – The question is what will this crisis reveal about my character? What does it look like to pursue righteousness in this environment? There are many places to go in Scripture that deal with integrity and keeping our word. Even deeper than that, as followers of Jesus, an all-of-life pursuit of righteousness should guide everything we do in personal and public life.

Proverbs 2:20-22 is instructive:

“So you will walk in the way of the good and keep to the paths of the righteous. For the upright will inhabit the land, and those with integrity will remain in it, but the wicked will be cut off from the land, and the treacherous will be rooted out of it.”

We also draw wisdom from Matthew 5:37:

“But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.”

2) Righteousness – Tim Keller’s commentary on this topic is particularly helpful – “BE RIGHTEOUS. When Proverbs speaks of the righteous and the wicked, we think it means the ‘moral’ and the ‘immoral.’ That is only part right. The Hebrew words for righteous—tzedeq and mishpat—have a strong social aspect. Bruce Waltke writes: ‘The righteous are willing to disadvantage themselves to advantage the community; the wicked are willing to disadvantage the community to advantage themselves.’” (Keller, God’s Wisdom for Navigating Life)

In light of this wisdom, here would be a few points as each of you lead through your unique set of circumstances:

1) Situational Awareness – In times like these, it’s appropriate to re-examine all obligations in your business. This includes supplier contracts, customer contracts, real estate contracts, employment contracts, etc. Our faith and how that is reflected in and through our work is non-negotiable, but many other things are negotiable in extraordinary times like the ones we’re living through. We encourage you to engage early and often in collaborative (as opposed to combative) discussion with counterparties, recognizing that we have more in the way of a shared destiny than a zero-sum game.

2) Competing Priorities – Leaders are called to balance different priorities to include creditors, investors, staff, vendors, customers, landlords, etc. In a world where fulfillment of all obligations becomes impossible, how do we as leaders sort through these priorities? These are good things to wrestle with, and tradeoffs may be necessary. Our legal system has some definition around creditor prioritization, but if you’re wrestling with this, our Sovereign’s team is happy to be a sounding board – anytime day or night.

3) Our Word as a Bond – If two parties agree to re-negotiate a contract, that’s reasonable and appropriate. What it looks like to “bear down” and get an appropriate deal given a host of different conditions can be widely variable. What isn’t appropriate is to walk away from obligations without conversation, or with our only conversation to be a “take it or leave it…if you leave it, we’ll see you in court” negotiation as we pound the table…see Matthew 5:37 above. 🙂

Our hope is that this counsel is helpful, as you actively pray and discern how The Lord is calling you to act and steward what He has put in your charge.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at TEDx Talk.

— by Danita Bye

— by Cory M. Carlson

In Matthew 28:19–20 we are called to go and make disciples. A lot of us are familiar with this verse, and we tend to think it applies only outside the home. We spend a lot of time looking for people to go and build into, but if we’re not careful, we can completely overlook our own kids!

Intentional investments into our kids will have a greater impact than anything else we do. Kids want our time more than anything. Our presence over our provision. Yes, they love their iPhones and tablets, but often they are playing with those because we are not giving them attention. Do you blame them? We do the same thing. When we are at stoplights, in lines, and even on the toilet, we are on our phones. Our kids are like us.

We need to go out on dates with our kids and do what they want so they feel loved, plus we get to know them better. Yes, there can be some valuable time talking and driving around together, whether we’re going on errands or to and from their activities, but the real value for them is when they know we are taking time out of our schedule to be with them.

For my teenage daughter, it is going to Starbucks and talking.

For my younger kids, it’s going out for ice cream or a donut. It doesn’t matter where as long as it is a time in which you are being intentional with your kids. In our family, the goal is to do at least one date per month per kid.

Parenting is about intentionality with our children, so they know who they are and whose they are, guiding them in what to do with their life and helping shape how to live it out.

As adults, we all have struggled to better understand our identity. If it is hard for us, think how hard it is for our kids! As parents, we need to be proactive and speak into our kids’ identities. If we don’t guide them properly, somebody else will, and they could end up making similar mistakes as we have, or worse.

DESIGNING A COMING-OF-AGE CELEBRATION 

A few summers ago, our daughter Kiley turned thirteen, and we wanted to celebrate her transition from a little girl to a young lady. Obviously, coming-of-age celebrations are not a new concept. One thinks of the Bat/Bar Mitzvah, tribal-type ceremonies in other countries, and the over-the-top celebrations on MTV’s My Sweet 16. But Christians and nonreligious people don’t really have a standard coming-of-age celebration.

In addition, when my wife and I were looking for coming-of-age ceremonies, we found great information for a father to do with his son or for a mother to do with her daughter.

But we couldn’t find anything for fathers and daughters or both parents and a daughter.

Stories and studies demonstrate that when children lose their way in life, it often can be traced back to a wound from their earthly father abandoning, ignoring, or abusing them. Later in life they try to fill the father void with sex, work, food, drugs, etc.

My wife and I wanted to put a stake in the ground. We want- ed to affirm who our daughter is, that she is defined by her identity as a daughter of God, not by how many social media likes she has or whether boys ask for her phone number or whether she’s the best dancer at her studio. We wanted her to know she is living from a place of approval instead of for approval.

Our ceremony was a combination of resources and ideas from organizations we are involved in or that we came across during preparation. The New Frontier I mentioned earlier has fathers and sons participate in an impactful ceremony during the father/ son weeks in Montana (thenewfrontierministries.org). Also, Senior Pastor Brian Tome of Crossroads Church in Cincinnati did an incredible sermon series and has written a book on The Five Marks of a Man, which includes five significant ways men are different from boys. Again, we were able to incorporate some of this material. The close of our ceremony came from an amazing story in Exodus 38 that I heard author Kate Battistelli talk about on the radio one morning.

In addition to these resources, my wife and I studied Proverbs 31, which is rich with words and traits of a godly woman. We identified five specific words we felt were significant to a young lady transitioning into a young woman that were applicable to our daughter at this time in her life. If we do this ceremony again when she is older, we may pick other words that are applicable to her at eighteen, such as “entrepreneur” or “business minded.” We may also pick different words for our second daughter, such as “creative,” since she is wired for art and creativity.

Following are the five words from Proverbs 31 that embody who Kiley is at this time and what we felt God wanted us to affirm in her:

• CHARACTER—trustworthiness, integrity, wisdom, and kindness (vv. 10–12)

• COMMITTED—to faith, family, friends, school, and work (vv. 13–19)

• G E N E R O U S —of time, talent, and treasures (vv. 20–22)

• INFLUENTIAL—live a life worth imitating (vv. 23–26)

• EXCELLENCE—everything you do is for the Glory of God (vv. 27–31)

We then asked some family members and close friends to write a letter to Kiley based on one of the five words. We assigned each person the one word we thought they lived out the most and asked them to write a letter about what this word means to them. For the men involved, we also asked them to share how they see it played out in a godly woman. For the women, we asked them to reflect on how the assigned word has affected their lives and to offer any wisdom they could share with a thirteen-year-old girl.

We then put all the letters in a beautifully bound book with pictures from throughout Kiley’s life. I cannot tell you how amazing the book is! The treasure of the book in itself is worth doing the ceremony! We often joke that we could sell this book on Amazon and just substitute the name of the customer for our daughter’s name. The book is full of incredible insight and wisdom.

I invited the men who wrote a letter to come to our house around 4:00 p.m. on her birthday and discuss the words with our daughter. I’m not going to lie; it started off a little awkward with Kiley at the head of the dining room table and these grown men sitting around the table and staring at her. But after a few awkward minutes it burst open with greatness. We discussed each word for about fifteen minutes, the guys read their letters, and we prayed over her.

Now, will she remember all the great things these men said that night? Absolutely not. I don’t even remember. But she will always have their letters, and she will not forget there are godly men who can speak into her life, help her out when needed, or just be prayer warriors working behind the scenes for her. She knows she is not alone.

The next part of the celebration was when my wife and I took her to a fancy dinner that evening. We got dressed up, ate a nice meal, celebrated her, and we each shared our thoughts with her based on the five words. The dinner was special. Laughs and tears.

Then we came back home. Now it was Holly and a group of women sitting around the table with Kiley, and they did the same thing. The ladies talked about the five words, ate dessert, and had a great time.

BURN YOUR MIRRORS 

The last part of our night was the perfect close to an amazing evening. Holly and I have participated in a ceremony called “Burn Your Ships” at Crossroads Church, which is based on a story from the 1500s when Captain Hernán Cortés landed in Veracruz and told his crew to burn their ships because they were not going to retreat. I have always liked this idea of burning your ships or fears or whatever is holding you back, so when I heard this story from Kate Battistelli on Exodus 38:8, I knew we had to include it in our ceremony.

The Bible tells us the Israelite women were asked to burn their bronze mirrors so the liquid metal could be used in constructing the washbasins at the tabernacle. Kate said this illustrates that while women are beautiful and reflect God’s glory, how women look should not define their self-image or come before their identity as God’s daughter.

We gave Kiley a bronze mirror and a marker to write on it anything she was struggling with, that was getting in the way of her relationship with God or just holding her back from living life to the full. I don’t know what she wrote on the mirror because it was private, but I am sure it had to do with pressure to get perfect grades, social media likes, getting a boyfriend, being a great dancer, and the list goes on. After she was done writing, we had her throw it in the fire!

After she threw the mirror in the fire, we watched it burn, symbolizing that all those fears and worries were burned. They do not define her. We celebrated and then gave her a new bronze mirror with the five words from the ceremony embroidered on the mirror frame!

The evening was amazing.

We must affirm our kids for who they are now and cast a vision for who they can become, not what the noise of the world is telling them. Somebody is building into your kids. Make your voice louder than the others.

MORE THAN JUST A DAY 

Kiley’s coming-of-age celebration was an amazing experience, but it happened over the course of one day. Obviously, declaring our children’s identities is not just a one-day project. Once we had the ceremony, it was critical to continue with regular investments.

Kiley and I go on dates and discuss how she is living out the five words in her life as well as how she is living as a daughter of God. When Holly and I see her exemplifying a positive character trait, we affirm her. When Kiley is deflated due to a bad test result or unsatisfactory dance recital, we remind her that she is not defined by her test results or dance ranking, but instead she is a daughter of God. Similarly, if she gets first place and pride creeps in, no question we are there to cheer her on, but over time we also discuss the risks of tying identity to temporal success.

Without the regular investments, the temptations of how the world defines failure and success will start to creep in and affect Kiley’s mindset. The identity ceremony requires follow up to provide transformation and lifelong impact, otherwise it is just an inspirational night and nice memory.

NEVER TOO EARLY OR TOO LATE 

Some of you may be thinking your kids are too young, or maybe you think you missed the boat because your kids are in their twenties.

It is never too early or too late!

For those with young kids, how amazing to be learning about the importance of identity at this age in your child’s life. Our kids’ identity needs to be tied to character, values, and mindset instead of their achievements (straight A’s, goals scored in a soccer game, etc.). As you compliment your kids at this young age, be sure to compliment their character over their competency. Compliment their values over their outcomes.

Getting this right now will set them up for success later.

You are also never too late to affirm your kids’ identity! Even if they are out of the house or already married, it is not too late. All children need to have their identity spoken over them, especially by their parents.

At The New Frontier we will get a father in his fifties or sixties with his son in his twenties or thirties, and to have that father speak over his son is always a tear-jerker for me. Nothing can make a young man feel so vulnerable, yet honorable, as to hear words of affirmation and identity spoken over him by his earthly father.

LESSONS FROM THE #METOO MOVEMENT 

In recent years women have begun reporting high-powered men who sexually abused or harassed them in their Hollywood, business, or news media careers. This became known as #MeToo Movement because female victims were using social media and the #MeToo hashtag as a way to build awareness.

Affirming our kid’s identity is critical for many reasons, one of which is that our kids are tomorrow’s leaders. We need to be correctly affirming their identity, so they can humbly yet confidently lead and not be a prey or the predator in sexual harassment, racial or gender discrimination, or other abuses of power in the workplace.

We need to affirm our sons’ identities, so they do not slip throughout life and end up being a predator—looking for affirmation of who they are, trying to fill a void in their heart, and pursuing immediate gratification. We need to affirm our daughters’ identities too, so they can have the self-confidence and self-esteem to avoid compromising situations.

RECALIBRATION QUESTIONS 

1. Which of your kids need to have their identity affirmed?

2. How and when will you do the identity ceremony?

3. How have you complimented your children’s character over their competency lately?

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[Thanks to Alex Guillaume for the cover photo]

At the end of every podcast, we like to ask our guests to share what God has been teaching them in this season of life. This week’s guest is author and filmmaker Phil Vischer. He is the creator of the groundbreaking children’s series, VeggieTales, which has sold more than 65 million copies. Recently, Phil has produced What’s in the Bible?—a 13-part DVD series walking families all the way through from Genesis to Revelation

Psalm 23:1-3

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.

I am in the middle of having my nose rubbed all over Psalm 23. So, you know, I memorized that when I was like six years old. The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. 

It’s a beautiful poem. It’s lovely. It’s wonderful. Until you actually read it and realize what it’s saying.

And then it sounds absolutely ridiculous because it says, because God is my shepherd, I will not need anything else. And it’s so hard to wrap your head around that. And God is bringing me back to that. 

I kind of feel like I’m not allowed to read anything else until I can accept the truth. If God is my shepherd, I’m good. That’s it. Not God is my shepherd. And you know, my business takes off. I can budget the next five years with clarity. All my kids are thriving. My marriage is healthy. And I can make my car payment. No, none of that is there. 

It’s just the Lord is my shepherd. So I’m good. I’m fine. I’m great. I’m wonderful. And so I’m trying to internalize that truth. How does that affect my daily life? If God really is enough, not because of what he can give me, but just because of who he is, how does that change how I interact with people? 

You know, the needs I feel that I have, how I run my business, how I need my life. That’s where my nose is right now. And I don’t think he’ll let me leave until I get it.

Reggie Joiner is the founder and CEO of Orange (The reThink Group, Inc), a nonprofit organization whose purpose is to influence those who influence the next generation by providing resources and training for churches and organizations that create environments for parents, kids, and teenagers. 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

In this season, I’ve been sitting in the passage in Corinthians that says Blessed be God, the God of all comfort, who comforts us with the comfort with which we can comfort others. 

I think everyone is going through a crisis at a different level during this season. And I think that we need each other more than we’ve ever needed each other. There’s a sense in which that passage teaches us that there is a kind of comfort that only comes from God that we can’t get from other people. But then it goes on to explain that he gives us that so that we can, in return, comfort those around us. 

And so there’s both a human factor and a God factor, that exist in that passage when it comes to comfort. And we’re living in a world right now where there’s a lot of anxiety and depression coming into this crisis. There was. And now, especially in the teenage zone and the zone of middle schoolers, there is this accelerated anxiety and depression. And we get to lean into leaders and to anyone who has a position or a voice and say “Hey, more than ever before, there’s a generation listening, watching and needing for us to give them hope to say this is going to be okay. We’re gonna get through this.”

This is such an important time to take that human comfort and hopefulness that we can have and hand it to a generation because they desperately need to hear us say, we’re going to get through this.

— by Cory M. Carlson

“Don’t Give Others the Best, and We Get the Rest”

I had the opportunity to interview some key business leaders as part of a leadership series for Venue magazine in Cincinnati. One common theme in the interviews was discussing the balance of home and work and how important it is. Yet we all relate to the all-too-familiar example many of us have experienced where we go to a work dinner with someone we may never see again and give our best by asking questions, caring, listening, and being funny, yet when we come home, we have nothing to give. We sit on the couch and watch a sports game. We open up our laptop and check emails. We don’t ask our family how their day was. If we do ask, we may not even listen to their response.

We can be guilty of doing this right outside our own homes. We may be fighting inside with our spouse or kids, yet when we go outside to get the mail or take out the trash and run into a neighbor, it is game on. We are super happy and talkative. You would think it was the best day ever. Deep down we have the energy, but sometimes we only use it for strangers and neighbors.

We even see this in our kids at different times. I remember at one point we were having some tough weeks with our nine-year- old daughter, Kamdyn. She was very low energy in the house, in a bad mood, not very talkative, short-tempered. My wife and I went to a parent-teacher conference prepared to hear the bad news, how our daughter was being a pain, not paying attention in class, bossing people around during group play, not sharing toys or ideas. We were at the edge of our seats waiting to hear the news.

We got the exact opposite report. The teacher said our daughter was one of her favorite students—always raised her hand in class, led group activities, helped other kids, and the list went on. We were so grateful and proud, but also perplexed and confused. To be honest, we were even a little mad.

How come the teacher and other students got the best of our daughter, yet we got the worst? The reality is, she does what we all do. She was giving the best to people at school, gymnastics, and other places outside the home, yet when she was home, she had nothing left to give.

We drew the line in the sand. We were no longer going to allow our daughter to operate that way. Nor could we. We could not continue to give the best of ourselves to the outside world and then treat our loved ones like crap. There had to be a better way.

The motto in our house is: “Don’t give others the best, and we get the rest.”

What does that look like? We each have to rally after a long day at school or work and be present with our family. At the dinner table we have conversations and talk about each other’s day. No phones at the dinner table, and everyone is mentally present. Don’t get me wrong. We have down time in our house; we’re not always in interview mode. But we make sure we are caring about each other like we do for the business meal we have with someone we may never see again.

Just having this motto in our home is great because if any of us are having an off day, we can bring this phrase up and it helps us recalibrate. Vocabulary creates culture, and since we are all aware of this phrase, we can get on the same page quickly.

Does this mean you don’t give your best at work so you can give your best at home? Not at all. You’ll find that when you’re giving your best at home, you have more in the tank to give at work! We are the ones who give ourselves permission to crash when we get home. We accept the idea that it is OK to crash on the couch. Sometimes we even think we deserve it because we worked so hard that day.

Our family deserves more. Our spouse had just as challenging a day as we did, some days worse. Our kids may have had a difficult day, or maybe they had an amazing day and they are just waiting for you to ask them about it. If we choose every day not to engage with our family when we get home, we create distance between us and them.

When you engage with your family members, they know they matter. You build confidence and security. They can dream bigger because they know you will be alongside them on the ride. If it is always about you, they will think they don’t matter. They will begin to feel isolated and limited.

Begin the mindset shift now. On your way home from your next work dinner or long day, turn the radio off and start to pray, think, meditate, or whatever gets your heart realigned. During that drive home, give thanks for a great work dinner and maybe the new relationship or partnership that was established. From this position of thanks, ask for energy to engage with the family at a higher level. Ask for grace and patience as the kids may be extra loud or crying or the dog may be barking. More times than not, you will have a better mindset as you walk into your home, and you will be able to engage.

Give your family more because they deserve it and because it sets them up for greater success in life.

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[Thanks to National Cancer Institute for the cover photo]