At the end of every podcast, we like to ask our guests to share what God has been teaching them in this season of life. This week’s guest is

Rob Thomas and Jeff Parker co-founded Igniter Media. But after Jeff confessed to embezzling money from the company, their relationship changed. This is their story of deception, confession, repentance, forgiveness, redemption, and all the messy steps in between

Colossians 3:12-13

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Rob Thomas: He started out basically saying, hey, I used the company card inappropriately. And I remember even as he was saying that, I was like, OK, that's OK. That's no big deal. You know, I'm glad that you felt like you wanted to tell me that, but that's fine. And then after that  hewent on to say that was the first thing that kicked off about seven years of using the company's finances in an inappropriate way, using them personally. And the number was quite a bit larger than that dinner. And so basically, he confessed to embezzling money and that he'd been doing that for seven years without my knowledge. I remember being so stunned that I didn't even know I was supposed to be upset about it. 

Jeff Parker: I had fallen headlong into this world of gambling, and it was a big sin. And I remember every single day wanting to confess and yet kind of hardening my heart towards it. I mean, with full integrity, I can say I love Rob. I love his family. I love the mission of what Igniter does. And I knew what I was doing was hurting all of those things. But I was also scared of consequences that might happen. 

I tried to stop and manage my sin. But while I stayed silent about my sin, my bones wasted away. That's King David from Psalm 32 and my three hundred dollars sin became a thousand dollar sin, which became a five thousand dollar sin which became now it's three years and multiple thousands, you know. And so it just was a slippery slope because I wasn't willing to confess that this took me to places, you know, I never thought it would go. We use a phrase here a lot. I forget who originally said it, but it's that sin will take you farther than you want to go. It will cost you more than you want to pay. And I mean, I experienced that firsthand.

Rob: The night that Jeff confessed, he said something at the end that was kind of the linchpin for the next several months, and he basically said after he confessed, he said, I'm willing to do whatever I need to do and I'm going to abide by both of these communities to tell me what needs to happen next. And he truly meant it.

Jeff: As I came in to do the audit, it really began to sit with me just how devastating my sin was. You know, it just is hard to look in the mirror. And the audit was one of the most gracious things that ever happened to me as I had to look into the mirror of what my sin actually was. And I remember going home at the end of that week, and I had a 70 page audit literally printed out sitting in my passenger seat. And it was almost heavy enough to trigger the airbag.

The next morning I'm sitting in Ezekiel 33 and verses 15 and 16 is—as I'm literally sitting and staring at my sin right in this document—it says that if the wicked man restores the pledge, if he pays back that which he has stolen, if he walks by my statutes which ensure life, he shall surely live, he shall not die. He has practiced justice and righteousness and he shall surely live.

Rob: In some ways, I felt stuck. Like, if I hold on to this, if I hold onto unforgiveness, you know, the great quote, it's like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. So that's a dead end for me. And not only that, as I really looked at more scripture about forgiveness. It is so clear what God wants us to do when it comes to forgiving others. We  forgive because we've been forgiven. 

So forgiven people forgive people. And so it wasn't an option not to forgive him. But that definitely was the work of the Holy Spirit in my life, to go, hey, this is between me and God, I'm going to forgive him. And so my forgiveness for Jeff had everything to do with me and God. And little to do with Jeff and what he did.